Paige sat in my room the other day while Samantha and I were talking about some school work on my bed. "Mom" she asked, "What does it mean to be different?"
I asked her why she wanted to know. "Well, the girls across the street always tell me that I act different than them, I don't think it is good to be different."
If you have been reading this blog for very long you know that Paige is our miracle child. She didn't talk at all until she was almost 4. When she was 3 we were told she was Autistic. A diagnosis we were highly skeptical about. She wasn't potty trained until she was 4.5 years old, didn't walk until she was 20 months, everything with this child has been delayed. However, she has come so far over the last few years. I have prayed and cried over this child, worried about her future. Then one day God spoke to me about this.
I will never forget that day. I was reading my Bible and had been praying for guidance and wisdom regarding Paige and her schooling, etc.. when God clearly told me "Why are you fretting so?" " I have a plan for Paige, she is my child, she is special and she is the child I created her to be."
From that day on I have not worried. Seriously. It is miraculous. Do you know what? From that moment on she has thrived in our home. She has caught up to her peers in ways that her Dad and I thought might never happen. She is a whiz at math, she is reading, and she has a heart of gold wishing to fill up our entire house with children (jut like Levi and Amelia:) who do not have a mommy and daddy to love them. She is my angel and I love her so much. However, yes, she is still different from her peers in many ways.
So, when she asked me this question I was thrown back to my days of worry. Her question broke my heart. Paige is 7 but acts much younger and also can act inappropriately for a situation at times. When she is playing with 4 and 5 year olds she fits in much better than with her older peers. We have been working on not acting inappropriately, things like keeping our dress down, not hugging people over and over, giving people their personal space. However, she still has a ways to go to be considered "normal" by her peers.
Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. Luke 12:7
Samantha and I reassured Paige that she is just the person that God wants her to be. I told her that he has great plans for her and it is O.K. to be considered different. God wants us to be different than the rest of the world. She seemed fine with this answer and was excited to find out God had a special plan just for her. She hopes it involves being a fashion designer, I guess we will just have to wait and see:)
Levi has had problems with one of the boys in the neighborhood also. He called Levi over to his house across the street a few weeks back and said to him "You talk funny." Levi didn't respond to that. Then he asked where Levi lived and he pointed to our house. "You can't live there, he stated, where do your REAL mom and dad live?" Now this kid is a little punk. I don't like him, never have. This really set my blood to boiling because this boy knew full well Levi had been adopted and I know he knew we were his parents. He was just trying to be mean. Plain and simple. This little boys mom is one of the most self involved people I have ever met so I am not surprised that he is such a little ##xxx###!
My first instinct was to race over to their house and let the kid have it. Except...my little kids were much more wise than I on this day. Levi said, "Don't worry mom, he is just stupid. I know you are my mom and always will be." Then Paige replied "Of course you are my brother, he is just so dumb." Then off they ran together to play outside. I'm sure the words hurt, but he seemed to deal with it fine.
The other day these same little girls came knocking on our door looking for Paige and wanting to play. I finally told them that Paige could not play with them. They asked why? "Because you are not nice to her and until you learn to be kind to all people, even those that are different than you, you will not be allowed to play with Paige. She is much to special to be treated that way." The girls looked away sheepishly. They knew what I was talking about.
I got the cold shoulder from one of the girls mom's the other day. I don't care. I will protect my child from others who seek to harm her. She has lots of friends at our co-op and of course, she has her Levi and Amelia. She is happy. She is special. Yes, she may even be considered different. She is our Paige and we love her just the way she is. She is wonderfully and beautifully made by the hand of God who loves her even more than I do. Such a wonderful promise to hold on to.
